I get it, but your still wrong.

Working in the daycare field, I have a .. general, small insight on what it's like to work in the classroom environment. It involves planning for lessons, gathering supplies, and making sure you have all the help you need to make each lesson a success, no matter what that may be. It takes a lot of work that usually goes unseen.

There's also a social side & that's where I fail the most. Children don't have this affect on me, but I tend to be timid unless I'm really acquainted with someone. So being open and real with parents can be a challenge. 

Parents can also be a pain in the butt or a blessing. 

There's nothing like being in the middle of the morning routine when the same child comes bursting through the door late, again.. and again .. and again, once more interrupting the class. You want to ask why? Why is this happening again?? Well, first of all, you should. You should ask why. 

Now I'm on the other side. I still sub for a daycare part time, & because I'm a parent of a complex child with many diagnoses, there are too many appointments and what would be sick days for me to hold a full time job.

I love my daughter so much--enough to be able to see her strengths and weaknesses. And I know she is wonderful.. And I know that she is intelligent.. And I know that she can be pokey and ..resistant, & even argumentative.. mostly at home though, & sometimes for her therapists. 

And we are late.. Oh my gosh.. we are late so often, and it's so frustrating for me, as I'm sure it is her teachers and paras, but she has a diagnosis. She has a valid reason. And I'm so over it that some days, if we're going to be more than an hour late just because she was too pokey, or we overslept, I keep her home. 

Being a timid person, it takes a lot of courage for me to walk her into the school late (again), and even though I usually put on a cool, this is no big deal air it's because if I didn't, I'd probably be in tears. 

That being said, you can imagine the shock and hurt I felt when I heard a para make a snarky remark one of the last times I brought Roo in. The irony was that she wasn't even late for school, she just missed the bus. And this particular para probably didn't even intend for me to hear it, BUT I DID, which brings up another important fact. If your a parent who isn't homeschooling your child, at some point your going to be talked about by your child's teacher or other staff members. There are going to be moments that they're annoyed with you, or pleased with you, or just mentioning your name in general conversation, but they should never ever do it in front of you, other parents, or other children who are within earshot, especially if it's negative, because it's wrong.

I realize that there are exceptions to every rule, but this wasn't one of them. I emailed Roo's special ed teacher, explained the situation and hated to do it. Just like I feared, the para denied it, but thankfully, other staff members have continued to be polite & I feel I was believed. Which is a huge relief, because why would I make that up? I don't even know this lady's name. Yet, she denied it. Later I was told that this particular para held a respected position elsewhere, which makes it even more sad. Why can't people admit that they slipped up, or "I'm sorry, I was having a bad day," or the honest to goodness blunt truth that this child is late often, and in a moment of frustration I said something that I shouldn't have. How hard is that?

Okay, it's hard. But now I don't trust this para. I hate that. 

There really isn't a good way to end this post, so I will go with a hopeful...

The End.

Why Dye When You Can "-Ing"?

I'm going to be honest, I have a love/hate relationship with the Easter holiday (and most holidays, if I was being really honest). First off, what I love... I'm a Christian and I cherish the idea of celebrating Christ's ultimate sacrifice and resurrection because He loved us that much!  Before Roo & when I was younger, this time of year made me feel closer to God. Now... well, things aren't like I expected them to be. That's just the truth. I thought that when I had children I was going to relive childhood memories with them, and pass on traditions. Instead, I'm usually trying to find some little tidbit that I can tack on that will survive the sensory overload and extra excitement while still bringing on the smiles. I seriously try to keep the sparkly, sugary special needs take on life.. The whole "make new traditions" thing, but sometimes it's SO hard. And progress... can't forget progress.. sometimes it shows itself in the most unexpected ways.

For instance, this was a couple of years ago... she helped.

And last year, we managed to keep her in the room ... for the most part.

And this year...

This year she effectively communicated that she did not want to color Easter eggs. I mean, seriously, every time I asked her, "No!" But she did agree to color Easter pictures with us, and we did it as a family. It was the runner up prize I guess.

It was okay.

She was happy, & that's what matters.

The Friday before Easter, she went with me to a doctor's appointment because her daddy had to work late and I didn't have anyone to watch her on such short notice. It wasn't a big deal, but sometimes it's just a tad annoying not to be able to talk freely. Afterwards, I thought I would get lucky and she would be preoccupied enough with the Ipad that I could get an Easter outfit while we waited for my scripts to be filled. So we  stopped at a dress shop.

I was not that lucky.

I forgot about the mirrors. *sheesh!*

The twenty thousand mirrors all  along the walls...

So I did what I had to do.

While she was going from mirror to mirror--smudging, licking, & smiling at herself--I flew through the store and grabbed whatever caught my eye ... grabbed the first shoes that made  me pause, and grabbed a dressing room. It was stressful. It was quick. I got A LOT of looks varying from pity to snooty... Buuuuttt..  It was a success! :-D

The Easter Bunny came as scheduled and Roo was happy with her goodies. Have I mentioned that the Easter Bunny doesn't bring sweets to her? Nope, he's so awesome that he brings small toys and knick-knacks, because they make her smile more than candy. ;)

My husband and I attend different churches right now. I'm okay with that, mostly. I miss having him with me during service, but we're each doing what's best for ourselves at the moment. A wise lady recently said that the grass may be greener on the other side, but that could be because it's on a septic tank! You've gotta admit, she has a point. haha

Roo usually goes to church with me, and she has become such a big girl, staying in the pew. She loves Sunday School!

She doesn't like special services though. They confuse her, I think. On a normal Sunday, we have a few songs, a small scripture reading & then everyone is dismissed to classes according to their age. She hears a Bible story in class and does activities & a coloring page with the other kids. Afterwards, they come back to the adults in the sanctuary, an offering is taken up and birthdays and anniversaries are recognized. After that, and this is her favorite part, Roo, either by herself or with some other kids, goes up front and sings a song. Then each class comes up and tells what they learned that day. It's really cute, & like I said, she loves it.  During this past Easter Sunday, she waited until the gift baskets were through being given away, and started marching up to the front. In her mind, this was NOT how Sunday School was supposed to go. I ran up to her and grabbed her hand to take her back to our seat and she starts to come along, but puts on the brakes right when we're almost there. Most people don't realize that she can "talk." It's not always intelligible, but she does try and Terry & I can usually figure out what she's trying to say. She talks the most when she's angry..

"-ing!" she said.

"No," I said.

"-ing!" she said.

"Nooo," I said.

"-ing!" she said.

"No!" I said.

Then suddenly, we were addressed from the platform, and she was told that it was okay, she could come and sing. And she did. She sang her heart out. While she ran up there, my pastor gave a short explanation about how she has autism, and routine is important to her because there were many visitors. It was sweet. I know there are churches that go about inclusion all wrong, and that some people are still ignorant enough to think our special children are punishments from God, and even some idiots will try to "cast the demons" out of our children; but there are some churches that do it right, that know our children enough to know that they are blessings, & love them enough to help them through the rough spots. If your a Christian who's given up because you've come across some churches that don't understand, keep trying! Use Google! Ask around! Don't give up!

Anyway, however you celebrated Easter, I hope you enjoyed it! :-)