The Best Advice I Wish I'd Taken

Um.. So this could be a touchy subject.. I'm not sure this is the right place to discuss "arguments", "heated discussions", or "fights" between couples.. SO, allow me to introduce you to the fly on the wall,  hypothetical Jane and hypothetical John. Their names have been changed to protect their privacy, and about a third of this post will be completely untrue and.. it will be up to you to figure it all out, but the main point will be obvious. That make sense?

The couple that Mr. Fly will be telling you about have been married about 10 years. Jane has brown hair, violet eyes, and a nose ring. :c) John has brown hair, chocolate brown eyes, and big muscles. The have one child. A little girl with fiery red hair, brown eyes, & a smile that lights up a room. This is his account of one afternoon's happenings:

One day John came home from a hard day's work (he lays railroad), and was upset that once again the house was not clean. He was greeted at the door by the cat. John is not particularly fond of cats, but he will pet this one when he thinks no one is looking. He finds his wife in the next room, on her kindle, and the little redhead on the couch with her tablet. She was laying on her back, feet in the air, holding it up, while she used one or both hands to play her game. The child, not the lady (because the lady hasn't been that limber or flexible since.. ever). This is the child's favorite way to hold her Ipad. The only downside is that sometimes her big toes get tired and it slips, usually falling on her face.

John goes to the bathroom, and the little wife follows to say "Hello" and "How was your day" only to get a gruff reply. He just didn't understand how the house was still dirty. "It's been dirty over a month," he says. He went on to say that he saw their child on the Ipad, perfectly content, and why couldn't you wash dishes while she's on it?? The answer is really simple. The little redhead doesn't miss a thing, and she doesn't want to play on her tablet alone. She has these "rules" of how things are supposed to go, and at this point, her mother would do almost anything to keep her from whining and crying. This has been a long, mostly unhappy summer. The wife tells him this and reminds him how often their little girl needs to eat, and how someone must be with her, and that that takes time. He insists that they should make the cat do more around the house, because, after all, all he does is sleep, eat, and use his litter box--it wouldn't hurt him to watch a little girl eat so she could clean. "That's ridiculous!" protests the wife. "How would he give her the Heimlich if she became choked?" He sputters for a moment says, "What about Dr. {Very Nice Development Pediatrician That We Haven't Seen In Years}!?!" (Now referred to as Dr. VNDP)  "Huh?" Jane says. "What about Dr. VNDP?!" John repeats. Jane snaps, "Dr. VNDP lives in {another state}! We haven't seen her in years!"  "But what did she say?!"  "She said that I should go on a getaway with the girls for a few days! Take off for a week so that you would understand what I go through!" "What?" He looked purely shocked, by the way. "She said that you wouldn't understand unless you had to do it on your own for a few days, and I laughed, and told her that it wouldn't happen." At this point, Jane picks up the toilet plunger and beats John over the head with it. "I wish I'd done it!" she said, "because you just don't get it!"

This is where I'll stop. After living in this household for years (have I told you of my stealthiness?), I have to agree with the wife. This summer she's been kicked in the jaw over a phone call that wasn't going the child's way, endured hours of endless whining that kept away any chance of company, not to mention the meltdowns when she took her outside, because this summer has been unusually nice, bearable and even sometimes cool. This is, obviously, not what summer is supposed to feel like. The child simply doesn't allow her to clean, and even though she's just mentally exhausted by the time the redhead's bedtime rolls around, she still deserves time to relax. This has been the little girl's worst summer as far as acting out. There's still time, maybe the wifey should plan a weekend get away? I heard her tell John last night to plan on taking a week off next summer, because she was going on vacation with a couple friends. You go girl!

If you're the primary caregiver and your spouse, partner, or sperm donor doesn't "get it," let them carry the load for awhile. It will be good for everyone involved.