Hello again... I'm Roo's Mommy, allow me to introduce her Daddy.

It's been nearly a year since I've written.

Sometimes things just happen that are too personal, or isn't my story, and it can't/shouldn't be shared on here. It affects me none the less though, so, that's where I've been. Looking at life and appreciating each moment like it's a gift. Even when I'm at my wits end and I'm telling my nearly 10 year old for the millioneth time, "No, you are not getting an app," I'm so thankful I still have her around to pester me for the heck of it. And when the worst happens to someone I know, when things hit too close to home, a part of me tends to pull into my shell.

Anyway, a long time ago, I promised that my husband would share his point of view on Roo's birth and the first few days in the NICU.

We decided that a Q&A sort of interview would work out best. So one night, we sat on opposite ends of the couch facing each other, while I asked him questions that I had already come up with and a few that just sort of happened as we went along.

At first his answers were short and I had to encourage him to elaborate. The more he started to talk, the more his emotions started to come to the surface. So much so that when our big, orange furball or a cat hopped onto his lap, he started to pet him instead of push him away like he normally would. He is not a cat person.

Things came out in that conversation that I didn't even realize (though maybe at times I suspected). While I don't mind spilling my guts on here, and even though he went into it knowing that I intended to put it on here for the world to see, it's just not fair to him.

Anyway, this is Terry aka Roo's Daddy.

He's a good guy who goes out of his way to help others, even if he's dead on his feet after working a long day.

I admire his faithfulness in attending church, and love his faith in God. I especially appreciate how he's trying to instill Christian values in our daughter, despite her many challenges.

They formed a special bond early on that still continues. When she was finally able to come home from the hospital, I was so jealous of him! I felt like I never got to hold her because she was always crying for daddy. In hindsight, I'm lucky that he was able to be home, and willing to continue to hold her...even if it was frustrating! :-) He is such a blessing, & I love him.

I hope you all have a great Father's Day weekend!

I will write again soon!

- Cassie

Roo's Birth Story: Part II

Picking up from where I left off...

The moment when I felt my baby being taken from my belly, it was like the world paused. After the longest 2 seconds of my life, she let out a loud wail. I was able to breathe again. She was wiped down & laid on my chest, & Terry and I both had tears streaming down our faces. I was so thankful for this child, so thankful that she was alive, and.. to be honest..  so thankful that this was over with. I was ready to move on.

A minute later she was taken to another room and Terry followed. A couple of nurses were left with me and they started to clean me up. They kept talking to me, telling me how much fluid there was, LOTS of suctioning was going on. Then there was some silence and I heard one of them say, "What's that??" I never did hear the reply, but once again there was more suctioning. My OB doctor came back in to stitch me up and then left again. I was finally switched back over to a bed by the nurses, and wheeled back to my room. Halfway there my OB doctor rushed up to the nurses and said, "Where's the placenta?!" They told her that they already threw it away, and just shrugged like it was normal procedure even though the doctor seemed upset.

People came to visit me from time to time. Nobody was talking much about my baby. Some were better at putting on a happy face than others, but I could sense something was wrong. My OR nurse came back often to see if I had feeling back in my toes yet, because I couldn't go to the nursery until then. My doctor was very sweet. She checked on me, asked me how I was, and even brought me some sprite. Her bedside manners where wonderful.

Down the hall, through a  pair of thick sound proof doors, a different scene was playing out. My husband was angry. People who described him, did it with wide eyes. My poor Roo.. her blood sugar was 16, I think... dangerously low.. and she was being poked over and over again by incompetent nurses who didn't know how to start a newborn IV. Even after other nurses told them a team from Riley was coming, they continued on. To this day, I would like to have some words with them, whoever they are. 

Everybody knew that Roo was going to be transferred to a Children's Hospital before I did. Nobody wanted to tell me. Finally, the pediatrician on-call came to visit. She told me that they thought she had Trisomy 18 & that she was being life-lined to Riley Hospital for Children. I started to cry, and her reaction.."Oh, Mom is crying.. *tsk, tsk, tsk*" and then gave me a pitiful smile & left the room. Her lack of compassion, emotional wall, or whatever it was that she put up, sealed the deal that she would never be my daughter's pediatrician. 

I was crying, my mom was crying.. and she hugged me. All I could say was that I didn't understand, all the tests came back normal. With this, I must backpedal a little bit and tell you about my pregnancy. Besides being HUGE from all the extra fluid, I had extremely mild gestational diabetes. Literally, I was 1 point over the limit. I had to check my blood sugar for a week and then it was determined that it could be managed with diet and exercise. The dietitian told me that if I happened to slip up, go for a walk, and to take a walk daily. I was good. I took my prenatal vitamins till the end. Little snacks that I packed around with me where things like.. celery sticks. Bleh. Anyway, when I had the blood work done in which they checked for different genetic markers, the results came back that Roo was 1 in 10 for Trisomy 18. We met with geneticists, had ultrasound after ultrasound during my pregnancy to make sure her organs where forming correctly, and that she was responsive.. At one point they wanted to do an amniocentesis. Looking back, I wish I would have agreed, but I didn't know what was ahead. I didn't know she would grow into the term  "medically unique". And I still don't know if it would have made any difference in the long run. At the time, my thoughts were that none of the additional testing had come back showing any evidence that something was wrong, and the procedure didn't seem worth the risk. 

Once again, I have to give thanks for the nurse who made sure I held my baby before the Riley team arrived. She had an oral feeding tube in place & she kept playing with it with her tongue. My little redhead was still fussing up a storm when they handed her to me, and then she just stopped and looked at me with those big eyes. She already knew who I was.. <3 

If you've never seen a lifeline team, it can be surreal. The team arrived dressed in dark blue jumpsuits, with red stripes down the side, wheeling in an incubator. I kissed my princess goodbye and handed her over. 

Later, I was told by a friend that they started an IV with 1 stick. That's right, one stick. 

Her dad left me early the next morning, and then my mom stayed with me at the hospital. I was terrified to stay alone. I wouldn't see my little redhead for 4 days. The daytime nurse in charge of my care was horrible. I spent another night in the hospital and then was discharged. I spent another night at my Mom's house, and then packed my stuff up and headed to the children's hospital. We had a room at the Ronald McDonald House for 3 weeks. They. Are. Amazing.

The next chapter will be from my husband's point of view. Sorry for my long absentee. February was especially dreary. ;-) 

Roo's Birth Story: Part I

One day, towards the end of August in 2006, I was checking into the OB ward at the local hospital. I was scheduled to be induced, because, even though I was just at 38 weeks, I was huge. I was handed a gown, got settled in, hooked up to the various monitors, and given the first inducing drug. I was told that it would take about a day for this one to fully take effect and that I wouldn't actually go into labor  until the next day.

The nurses left the room and Terry and I sat there excited, nervous, and chit-chatty.. For about five minutes.  At five minutes later nurses rushed into our room, throwing an oxygen mask on my face, turning me on my left side, yanking out the cervix softening medication, and about giving Terry & I both a heart attack. Apparently, I was already in labor, and the baby didn't like the medicine they gave me. Little Roo's stats went back to normal and everyone calmed down. Then I had a contraction.. A big one. And I didn't feel it. "You didn't feel that?" The nurse asked with raised eyebrows and I shook my head no. In fact, I was perfectly comfortable, sitting up, laughing with visitors until almost the end. 

We called our parents and loved ones to let them know about the change in plans, as we were assured that this baby was coming today. A couple of hours later I was dilated to 4, but still in no pain. Occasionally there was some pressure, like a hug, but nothing hurt. So when my OB/GYN came to see me & offered an epidural, I refused. She was a little surprised, but okay with it once she realized I wasn't trying to be brave. 

An hour or so later, there was some concern for my baby because of her earlier fetal distress. My water still hadn't broken, but my doctor wanted to hook a special monitor up to Roo that could only be done once my water broke. It was decided that it would be in everyone's best interest to break my water manually. Now that was uncomfortable! It didn't really hurt, but felt like a little pinch, and then GUSH.  That gush  definitely makes the top five of the most disgusting things I've ever experienced in my life. There was SO MUCH amniotic fluid. I didn't think it was ever going to stop. 

Things started to progress quickly after that. I still wasn't in any pain. In fact, I couldn't stand talking to people while I was laying on my back, because it was putting a strain on my neck trying to look at everyone.  So my bed was adjusted to a sitting position that left my feet flat on the cushiony mattress that continued to  support my legs and let me sit comfortably. It was an amazing bed.

Nobody wanted to scare me, but the fetal distress had begun again. My doctor informed me that we needed to do an emergency c-section, and that an epidural was no longer an option. I would have to have a spinal tap. I was so scared. People came in to wish me luck and give me love before they wheeled me down to the OR. I didn't realize what a rush there was until the OB/GYN looked at my husband and said, "Dad, why aren't you in scrubs yet??" She nearly ran out of the room to go fetch some.

The last 5 minutes, while things were being prepped elsewhere, I was prepped by being ready to go. Lying flat on my back, the contractions started coming on stronger. And. They. HURT. My sweet pastor was talking to me close to my face, probably praying for me, reassuring me.. I don't even remember. What I do remember is asking her through clenched teeth to please get out of my face, that I was having contractions. Everybody got a giggle out of that, even her.. Wait, except me, I wasn't laughing anymore. :-)

I was so scared as they wheeled me down the hall that my teeth started chattering and I was trembling. I think they thought I was having a medical issue, because several looked at me and asked if something was wrong. I told them that I was just scared and on we rolled. 

Once in the operating room, they were quickly prepping me for the spinal tap.. I was still so scared. I didn't think I could handle the needle. I wish I'd never seen one. I've never done well with blood draws  & 3 trimesters of Childhood Development Classes in high school had given me a healthy respect for any needles or instruments used during delivery. 

I sat on the table and started to cry as they cleaned the spot on my back, and a sweet nurse, with dark wavy hair told me to lean into her and that she would hold me with a big hug while they did the procedure. It sounded like she was praying over me as I cried on her shoulder, and that one moment gave me so much peace. I don't even know what she said, but I felt comforted. I was told to lay still, and after the medication took effect, and a blue screen blocked my view, Terry was allowed into the room. He sat beside me, held my hand, and told me he loved me while the tears silently rolled down my face. He wanted to take pictures, but I guess there were extra hands in the room, because one of the nurses grabbed the camera and said that she would take care of it. She even got a picture of the clock on the wall within a moment of her birth. 

Roo came out crying and covered in white gunk, and even though I have pictures, many of them are sorta of graphic with the blood and gunk, ..and mostly, very personal. I probably won't share many of those with you. Here's a photo of the 3 of us though. 

A previous post may have already told you about Roo's cleft palate, and how it was discovered.. And how she had very low blood sugar, and was needlessly poked over and over again by nurses who were  unexperienced with starting newborn IVs.. but that's the next chapter in this story. I will go over those moments in further detail the next time I write about Roo's big debut. ;-) Thanks for reading & God bless!