A Rambley Little Post About My Day, Insomnia, My Emotions, and This Blog

I'm reevaluating my commitment. A 365 blog challenge, though sounding exciting, is actually sort of .. hard. Because, as much as I don't truly care what other people think (or at least that's the stand I'm taking), putting all this out there on the internet.. is borderline over sharing... Obviously I've already missed several days, but I am trying to keep up with it... and to say I'm putting it all out there and not, would make me a fraud... & that ain't right!

Today has been an emotional roller coaster.

It started out happy because we made it to the bus. Yay! Any day that we make it to the bus on time, is almost always a happy beginning.

Then I was excited, because I realized I had a whole extra hour to chill before I needed to get ready and head up the road to my own GI appointment. The whole lacking sleep thing was kicking in, so I decided to rest. Rest I did. Right through the alarm, and several phone calls, and I finally woke up 4 hours or so later to my cell blasting out it's ringtone over and over again.

Then I was shocked because *GASP!* my appointment was 45 minutes ago.

Then I was ashamed because I realized I overslept and caused, first my sister, who works at my doctor's office, and then my mother, who was called by my sister, to worry--and I mean really worry. They thought something happened to me on my way up there.

Then I was annoyed, because my mom started to lecture, literally, lecture me for sleeping through my appointment. I kept trying to tell her I needed to go because my sister was trying to beep in, and she wouldn't listen, and when she finally did, my stupid smartphone thought I hit reject instead of accept.. and so I ended up rejecting my sister's call.

Then I was sad, because I really upset my sister. If you're reading this (which I doubt she does), I'm really, really sorry. I prefer not to make myself look like a loser by not showing up to an appointment, and I'm sorry that I made you worry.

Then I took my meds, ate breakfast, did some domestic duties, and gradually my sadness started to fade.

I noticed when I was eating that there were a few flurries outside, but when I went to get Roo from the bus stop, I found a couple inches of snow on the ground. I didn't have time to dust off my car, or put on gloves and a heavy coat, so I just shut my car door hard (made the snow fall off) and turned on the wipers. There was still limited visibility, but nothing to worry about since I was only going maybe half a mile up a gravel lane.  I still had time to turn the car around when I got to the stop, so I thought I would go through my neighbors drive. Unfortunaly, his drive exits on a slope... and I got stuck. I was so embarrassed. Luckily, my husband was coming down the road on his way home from work. He helped me get unstuck, teased me a little bit, then told me to go home and that he would get Roo. Wasn't that sweet? Part of me wonders if he thought I'd get stuck again, but some things are better left unasked. ;)

I've avoided my mother's phone calls all evening. I'm hoping that giving her a little time to cool off will make things go smoother when we talk tomorrow. The next couple of weeks are going to be focusing on retraining my sleep patterns. It's bittersweet. I like sleep, but I want to sleep at night, and I guess if things don't get better I have yet another problem to talk to my doctor about. I really don't want to take anymore medication though.

We Woke Up Cold....

This morning we woke up to the furnace trying to start over and over again.  And it was cold.

"We're out of gas!" Terry hollered.  "Poop," I thought and went to check the thermostat. It was at 63 so the furnace had only been struggling to heat the house for a couple of hours.

For those of you who haven't figured it out yet, we heat our house with propane gas. There's a big tank behind the house and we fill it up as needed. We were running low at the beginning of fall, but also low on funds. So, we only had a hundred gallons put in to get us by for awhile, & then we forgot about it.

This is how we started our new year--Cold & then Colder. Even after the space heaters got going, it was still chilly. I could have really used a shower this morning, but the thought of facing an icy bathroom afterwards drove all desire of that away. Not happening!

Roo was okay. She doesn't seem to mind the cold as much as we do, but allowing her to run around a chilly house seemed like a bad idea. She & I are constantly fighting off earaches and sinus infections lately, and the ever fluctuating weather is probably the culprit. So I plopped her in a chair by a space heater, stuck a hoodie & some fuzzy socks on her, and gave her the iPad. Tada! Problem solved.

Later we had dinner at my parents house (yummy lasagna & salad with rolls) to celebrate the New Year, and asked to stay the night & that's where we are now.. in a warm house, filled with leftovers, because the gas company charges an extra $150 to deliver on a holiday. My husband has decided to endure the cold at home though. He made several excuses.. anything from watching over the cat & the guinea pigs, to it would just be easier because I go to work in the morning, but you know what I think the real reason is? He doesn't want to share the guest bed with me and Roo. In a way I understand.... Even as I type this, she's laying sideways across a queen sized bed, hogging it.. But still, it's going to be cold tonight! I love him, but he's an idiot. :) I wish you all a Happy and Healthy New Year!