A Rambley Little Post About My Day, Insomnia, My Emotions, and This Blog

I'm reevaluating my commitment. A 365 blog challenge, though sounding exciting, is actually sort of .. hard. Because, as much as I don't truly care what other people think (or at least that's the stand I'm taking), putting all this out there on the internet.. is borderline over sharing... Obviously I've already missed several days, but I am trying to keep up with it... and to say I'm putting it all out there and not, would make me a fraud... & that ain't right!

Today has been an emotional roller coaster.

It started out happy because we made it to the bus. Yay! Any day that we make it to the bus on time, is almost always a happy beginning.

Then I was excited, because I realized I had a whole extra hour to chill before I needed to get ready and head up the road to my own GI appointment. The whole lacking sleep thing was kicking in, so I decided to rest. Rest I did. Right through the alarm, and several phone calls, and I finally woke up 4 hours or so later to my cell blasting out it's ringtone over and over again.

Then I was shocked because *GASP!* my appointment was 45 minutes ago.

Then I was ashamed because I realized I overslept and caused, first my sister, who works at my doctor's office, and then my mother, who was called by my sister, to worry--and I mean really worry. They thought something happened to me on my way up there.

Then I was annoyed, because my mom started to lecture, literally, lecture me for sleeping through my appointment. I kept trying to tell her I needed to go because my sister was trying to beep in, and she wouldn't listen, and when she finally did, my stupid smartphone thought I hit reject instead of accept.. and so I ended up rejecting my sister's call.

Then I was sad, because I really upset my sister. If you're reading this (which I doubt she does), I'm really, really sorry. I prefer not to make myself look like a loser by not showing up to an appointment, and I'm sorry that I made you worry.

Then I took my meds, ate breakfast, did some domestic duties, and gradually my sadness started to fade.

I noticed when I was eating that there were a few flurries outside, but when I went to get Roo from the bus stop, I found a couple inches of snow on the ground. I didn't have time to dust off my car, or put on gloves and a heavy coat, so I just shut my car door hard (made the snow fall off) and turned on the wipers. There was still limited visibility, but nothing to worry about since I was only going maybe half a mile up a gravel lane.  I still had time to turn the car around when I got to the stop, so I thought I would go through my neighbors drive. Unfortunaly, his drive exits on a slope... and I got stuck. I was so embarrassed. Luckily, my husband was coming down the road on his way home from work. He helped me get unstuck, teased me a little bit, then told me to go home and that he would get Roo. Wasn't that sweet? Part of me wonders if he thought I'd get stuck again, but some things are better left unasked. ;)

I've avoided my mother's phone calls all evening. I'm hoping that giving her a little time to cool off will make things go smoother when we talk tomorrow. The next couple of weeks are going to be focusing on retraining my sleep patterns. It's bittersweet. I like sleep, but I want to sleep at night, and I guess if things don't get better I have yet another problem to talk to my doctor about. I really don't want to take anymore medication though.

Tis' Just A Virus, They Said

This has been a long week... or two? I can't remember.  School started during the first week of August around here, and it seems that Roo and I just keep passing germs back and forth to each other ever since. The first round of colds struck the weekend after school started, & she literally missed 4 days of school for that. 

Four days. 

School. Has. Started. There are things I need to do. Things that I've been wanting to do all summer, and now I have to wait even longer?! And then we hit a calm phase.. We coasted along for about a week and she went to school and I tried to get up in time to get her to the bus while I to get better myself. 

Less than a month into the school year and we have Labor Day off. This year is so much different that last year. About this time last year, I was thrilled to have Labor Day with my daughter, because I was having a hard time adjusting, and I was missing her a lot during the day... This year, I'm just trying to keep us both healthy enough to get out the door & one of those healthier-ish days happened to be Labor Day. I'm going to leave out the lingering red, gooey eye left over from the cold.. and obvious bacterial infection around her g-tube. Sure, she looked like a wreck, but she was happy..? (This is where a sarcasm font would come in handy.) 

I was doing okay at this point. There was a little fluid on one of my eardrums, but anyone who constantly deals with seasonal allergies knows that this sort of thing comes and goes (right?) & Roo had been on antibiotics starting the Sunday before Labor Day because we just so happened to have a leftover antibiotic  refill at the pharmacy. Normally we wouldn't do this. Gone are the days of it being okay to give your child leftover antibiotics, but it was a holiday weekend and we felt this couldn't wait until Tuesday. 

Labor Day was fun. We hung out at my Mom & Dad's and had a cookout. I was feeling better. Roo looked awful, but smiled through it all, and my hubby enjoyed himself too. We decided, "Yeah, you should probably keep her home & take her to the doctor tomorrow.." And that was that.

It's Tuesday, and the whole right side of my throat is killing me. My ear is killing me. I call to make an appointment for myself and my doctor is on vacation. *fill in the -beep-* Roo still has and appointment though, so I pull myself together and get us there--on time even. The tech/nurse that checked us in seemed more upset about the antibiotic refill than the doctor who saw us (such a relief! I wasn't up to defending myself) and he gave us something new for her eye and increased the antibiotic dosage. :-)

While waiting for the meds to be filled, we went across the street to this sweet little flea market. I find a lot of good deals in there that I resell on eBay. It takes more effort, but competitive shoppers spend more than yardsalers do, so I usually make a profit. Anyway, while I was walking through the market, that's when the first rounds of dizziness hit. At first I thought I accidentally took my morning meds twice, but then it kept getting worse, even after the 4 hour mark when things should have calmed down. We made it home, made it though lunch (which I couldn't eat), and I was done. I didn't even have the strength to take my daughter to the bathroom. I laid on the couch with a 102-103 fever, freezing, falling in and out of sleep. Thankfully, she didn't hurt herself or break anything. Terry came home and we dropped Roo off at my Mother's & headed to the after hours clinic. Apparently, my lingering effect of the cold was a bulging, infected eardrum. I ran fevers off and on and slept for most of 3 days. All that sleep really messed up my internal clock. I still have trouble keeping days straight. A week later I was able to see my regular doctor and he put me on a second round of antibiotics and a nasal steroid spray. :-/ Yep, I'm on a nose spray. Yuck. 

Woe is me, I guess. I really wanted to tell you about my new BB gun (that I bought specifically with the neighbor's dogs in mind) and about Roo punching one of her teeth out at the eye doctor, but this post is already long enough. So, as our pharmacy says, ..no matter what.. really, no matter what.. until next time, Be Well. :-D